“Hujapata mzungu?” (“You have not found a white man yet”?) has become the constant question I have been asked over the past few months since I landed in this “land of the free and brave”. I had actually bought into this prophecy that I was going to meet my “Mr. Smith” ASAP. I imagined he was either going to be on the same plane as I, or we would meet at the airport or perhaps in a cafe once I found my way around. But there was another school of thought being perpetuated by other concerned friends that threw me off course. “Mzungu” likes thin women who wear make-up and long straight hair. I quickly dismissed that line of thought though I basically had no chance in that world they were talking about. I am no 1GB neither do I wear make-up and boy oh boy, my hair is this heap of nappy tangled hard messy ball that covers my scalp.
It has been many months and no “Mzungu” has even pretended to say a simple “hey”. Were they right that I needed some va va voom to attract a Mr. Smith? Is my Mr. Smith just any man or custom made for me and only me? Will my Mr. Smith have eyes only for me? Will my Mr. Smith see the beauty that is skin deep and not be put off by they nappy ball on my head? Will my Mr. Smith take one look at me and without a doubt know that I am the one for him? Will I recognize him? These questions have criss crossed my mind for many days and I still got no answer.
So I decided to also put effort instead of sitting doing nothing, and with inspiration from Ruth in the Bible, I decided I am going to find my Boaz. Naomi told Ruth as stated in Ruth 3:4; and it shall be, when he lies down, that you shall mark the place where he shall lie, and you shall go in, and uncover his feet, and lay you down; and he will tell you what you shall do. So guess what I decided to do, I decided to put my weight on this mission of finding Mr. Smith a.k.a My Boaz and set up nice profiles in dating sites. I have hopped from one dating site to another to a point of giving up. Having watched “Dateline” and ID, channels on television, I have come to view men of the fast world as “strange and dangerous”. So any face that looks like that of someone who would commit a heinous crime is quickly swiped to the left or to the right. Those profiles with faces that look “innocent-ish” are liked and surprisingly I have met some matches too. But then a problem arises; chats go as far as “Hey” and”How are you” followed by what feels like am on an interview. I quickly loose interest, delete that account and look for another free dating site. Don’t take me wrongly, I am not dismissing the fact that many people have met on this dating sites and ended up totally in love. Perhaps I should try one more or two more sites before I throw in the towel. This time I just might pay the fee charged to attain certain benefits that may set me on higher chances of meeting the Mr. Smith of my dreams.
But next time someone asks me whether I have met a “Mzungu”, I will tell them as politely as I can that there is no store/supermarket where women go to, take a cart and move from one isle to another shopping for a man.
It is not as easy as people think. Besides, I still think a woman should wait till a man “finds her”, an idea which has been shot down severally with the “Haiya, this is not Africa, here women also reach out to men” advice. I am not sure I can approach a man myself so perhaps my Mr. Smith better have eyes for both of us and guts for the two of us. He has to man up and come ask for my name. I have also formed a habit of talking to him in the “spirit” and I remind him and I am still here waiting for him, I already have the design of the wedding gown picked, and I already have my vows already written down. All that is remaining is for him to come find me hidden in Christ.
Can someone give me a hallelujah!!