2020 Lesson 1
Is this what they call a writer’s block? What happened to my muse? Where he/she go?
It has been months since I got the itch to write and no matter how many times I got my laptop out to jot an article, nothing came to mind. I have been experiencing guilt feelings because I had promised myself to be writing one article a week, which I did very well in the beginning. Then something that I cannot put my finger at happened and I just stopped. After many failed attempts to write, I am permitted myself to sometimes feel the “mathogothanios,” “ndeeeee” and “meeeh”, sigh and put the laptop back into its hood. With every negative and scaring things that was taking place in 2020, I guess that is why I got demotivated. It was all about “Rona”, BLM protests, deaths due to Covid-19, jobs lost, businesses closing down and me not getting paid my money by a debtor. As 2020 progressed, despair, depression, hopelessness, panic and fear became real and so did my writer’s block.
What are your memorable experiences of 2020? Mine are quite a number but I will share only one for now. I awoke to a realization that when one relocates to a foreign land, it is very easy to loose the self. One becomes very dependent on the advices of those who arrived before them oblivious of the fact that these opinions are based on the holder’s personality, past experiences, education, world view and much more. It is easy to get influenced by the wrong voices and reports. And so when I came here, I was told that people share houses and rooms in order to spare money which is then wired home for the enjoyment of their dependents. What I experienced for 3 months while sharing a 2bd apartment with a fellow countrywoman got me to woke!! Since 2000 I have lived alone. and so sharing a room or house with a stranger was the hardest thing ever. It got worse by the day and so I chose to investigate this woman. From information gathered from her relatives and friends, I deduced that my housemate was a person with severe behavioral problems stemming from her upbringing. This got me quite scared because such people can do things that are potentially fatal to another person. After failure to get her to behave reasonably, I gave up. I decided to move out and seek for my own unit where I would live alone. This translates to less savings and less money wired back home. It may not be a popular line of thought here but I refuse to live in a foreign like a pauper in order to save money. I would rather have peace of mind and work harder to earn more. Ron Kenoly sings a song that goes like this: “Whose report will you believe? we shall believe the report of the Lord”. I choose to believe what God says about me. He says I am safe, secure, provided for, loved, valued, precious, wealthy and healthy. I refuse to heed to the reports of people who have an imaginary glass ceiling over their lives yet demonize the effort of those who dare to aim higher and greater. I refuse to listen to the voices that says I will never make it beyond a certain career path, that I am disadvantaged because I am a foreigner, and that there are opportunities that are not availed to my kind. Oh my! The voice of truth tells me a different story! The voice of truth tells me that I am destined for greatness, I am coming to overflow and I can be all I wanna be as long as I believe. Actually God asks me to seek and I shall find, to ask and it shall be given unto me, and knock and the door shall be opened.
This is the reason why when someone manages to “kuomoka” (make it), they are branded illuminati by those who choose to be and remain as financial sparrows. Actually “nitaomoka” and not give any attention to what people will say. After all, in the end I will answer to God alone. hehehe! I am looking ahead with a lot of hope and with great expectations. I am upping my thinking and I purpose to prophecy only great thing over my life. I will ask from God the things which appear impossible. No more small small prayers. I will ask for the Moon and the stars because He says we test Him with big, grand requests. He wants to also work hard to get you that which you ask of Him. He loves challenges also. So when you see me galivanting the world, owning cruise ships, owning the best home in this foreign land, rubbing shoulders with great men and women, driving the latest cars, wearing great designers cloths and doing great things for the less fortunate, instead of spreading dirty rumors, come and ask me what I did to get there.
Here is a small tip before I sign off; Choose wisely who you tell your VISION. Not everybody who smiles with you is a friend. Not everybody who gives you an ear has best intentions for you. I have been a very open person with my life, perhaps talking waaaaaaay too much. This has caused me a lot of pain to be sincere. People have ended up forming wrong opinions of me and poor attitudes towards me. I have actually not achieved the purpose I wanted to achieve by being an open book. It has actually worked against me in most instances. Towards the end of 2020 I had to sit down and ask myself pertinent questions as to why I give TMI (too much information). My findings were amazing and I promised myself to stop this behavior w.e.f. What I expect is a reaction from those who have been receptors of my tell it all a.k.a TMI. I assume they will notice the silence, the less sharing and more of my listening. I will not be surprised if they say “Karen you have changed. Is there something wrong? Are you ok? Are you mad at me?” The answer will be a simple NO. None of the above. I am ok and we good,thanks for asking!! I now know that when you share too much, in your absence of these people talk bad things about you based on who they think you are because of all these information you share. They will cause your dream to die before it is birthed. Not everyone is genuine when they say “May God help you meet their desires of your heart”. This statement is ok up until you tell them what you are planning to do. Wololo. Utajua hujui (you will know you do not know). Whenever you wait for your dream to materialize but it keeps hitting dead ends, know there is another force against it. The power of the tongues of those your friends is working against you my friend. So learn to shut up and if you really want to share your visions, your day’s experience, your desires, your plans or your story, talk to God. He will never judge you or talk against your visions. Talk to Him the way you talk to your relatives and “friends”. He loves stories too. He is rooting for you always. Only God has good intentions concerning you. He says He is closer than a friend (Proverbs 18:24).
I wish you the best of the best in 2021. Just as God did to Job according to “Job 42:10 – The Lord restored the fortunes of Job when he prayed for his friends, and the Lord increased all that Job had twofold,” may He do the same to you. May that which the devourer took in 2020 be returned to you 2 times fold. I prophecy that we are coming into 2021wiser, stronger, more mature singing “my tomorrow must be greater than today”. Amen!!
Happy New Year Wadau!! Happy and prosperous 2021!!